Dear Dudley et al,

In November 2019, I attended my last R&M Fusion class at 37 weeks pregnant.  At the time I asked Dudley if he wouldn’t mind waiting to retire for at least 5 years so that my unborn child would be able to attend one of his classes.  He considered it for a moment and said, “Five years? I can do that.”

In January 2020, I had a tiny baby girl named Arya who has been dancing since she was born.  Amidst having a new baby and being overwhelmed with emotions, exhaustion, constant visitors and adjusting to a new life, the global pandemic hit.  Months went by in a blur; new confusion and challenges that I could never untangle from the whir of new motherhood. It took me several months to realize that I was experiencing postpartum depression.  Nearly a year later I am still battling to feel in control, and am still searching for my true self.

This morning when I realized I had some time to exercise, I decided to turn on Rhythm and Motion. I had done a few of the first videos, say up to #7 or #8, and liked them, but it made me miss dancing in person. I was filled with emotion when I saw that the team was on their 32nd set of socially distant dance videos. They’re! Still! Going!!  I clicked on a video and as Maggie began dancing to “Colour” in her local park, I burst into tears.  The joy of dancing, remembered.  An old flavor of my happiness emerging.  I missed me.  I cried while dancing throughout the song, which must have been quite entertaining for any neighbor who happened to look into my living room window.  As the video progressed I cried multiple times as my body felt, for the first time in a year, the way I used to feel when I was on the second floor of that Mariposa Street studio with 100 other beautiful humans throwing their bodies left and right, smiling and sweating through a Wednesday morning to kick off their various busy days.  When Aimee’s group-dance appeared on screen my tears were renewed.  I remember dancing in a group together, our energy building off of each others’ and bringing each of us up to new levels.

At the end of every fusion class with Amara, I remember plieing in unison in a huge circle, bringing our hands together to our foreheads, to our hearts, and to our beautiful bellies.  I remember thinking, this is a spiritual experience that I do not reach anywhere else. This is the power of people. This is the power of people dancing. This is me.

Thank you, for all that you do with your whole selves, and for the gift you continue to give us; access to our best selves. 

-Tamar Sberlo